Euphoria - Review

As expressed in previous reviews, I’m not into S&M or BDSM. I don’t know what parental issues the people who enjoy these activities have, but I think it’s sick. Euphoria explores this world in the same setting that the SAW movies did: a bunch of people who take part in some twisted bastard’s game.

Specifically, six young women act as “keyholes,” and one young man on the verge of being a serial killer & rapist, acts as “the key.” The key unlocks the keyhole to unlock the next room that brings them all closer to freedom. How they all got themselves into this situation and why it was all done is unexplained, even the ending never answers these crucial questions.

“The key” needs to fulfil certain prerequisites in order for “the keyhole” to be considered unlocked. These prerequisites come in the form of horrible sex acts...the most infamous one in my mind is called, “The human toilet.” The graphic sex acts include, fecal eating, urine drinking, bondage, oversized dildos in every orifice, and fisting. When I say fisting, I’m talking about “the key” using his fist to punch through the keyhole’s cervix like he possessed the Fist of the North Star.

After the brutality of episodes 1 & 2, I asked myself, “how bad can episode 3 get?” The answer came when the opening scene began with an unknown and unexplained women getting beheaded. After I saw that, the only thing I can think about was “don’t tell me “the key” is gonna be even more of a sick fuck and have sex with the throat of this woman’s headless body.” Luckily that didn’t happen. Towards the end of episode 3, a silver lining in the dark cloud that is Euphoria came in the form of “the key” falling in love with a certain “keyhole,” and they have one of the most passionate, arousing, and well done sex scenes I’ve ever seen in any hentai...then the writers went and fucked that up by having “the keyhole” go skitzo and strangle “the key” to death.

Overall Euphoria gave me the same disturbed and uneasy feeling as watching the live action version of Icchi The Killer. I’m sure some of you future rapists & serial killers out there will be able to shoot a few loads to all the sexual brutality & violence of this title. So for that, and the redeeming final sex scene of Episode 3, I give Euphoria 3 stars. However, I cannot give this title a recommendation.

Pretty Pridot (Part 2) - Review

Pretty Pridot part 2 continues where the first one left off: in a hotel room with Pridot being gang-raped. The sex is gross, and the acts depicted are just disgusting and violent. The men are tagging one another in like a wrestling team to penetrate her while semen is still overflowing out of her vagina. Another scene shows a man inserting a catheter inside of his urethra, and afterwards, he inserts the other end into Pridot’s urethra, and urinates into her bladder directly.

The 16-bit art style appears to be gone. The animation seems to have now been done in a CGI cell-shade. The models at times look like they’re spazzing out. Either that, or it was just a poor animation job.

The only reason I’ll even bother giving this title a rating is because Pridot’s character design is well done. Other than that, this title is not recommended. .5 out 5-stars.

Cat Planet Cuties (Asobi ni Iku yo!) - Review

Cat Planet Cuties is originally based off of a manga comic entitled Asobi Ni Iku Yo! As usual, I haven’t read the source material, so I don’t know how the series would compare to the comic. The series comprises of twelve episodes with the twelfth being somewhat of an OVA.

The story involves earth scientist broadcasting messages into space and finally receiving an answer. Our main character, Eris, lands on earth as an emissary to not only form political relations with earth, but to study humans on a sociological, anthropological, and biological level. She specifically lands in Japan and meets “Kio.” The two become inseparable on Eris’s adventures, and eventually Eris becomes smitten with Kio desiring him to be her mate. Along the way you’ll meet Kio’s childhood friend Manami who’s too afraid to him and herself that she loves him, and you’ll also meet Mai, and ninja assassin who is also too afraid to confess her feelings to Kio. In the series, Kio is at an age where he likes girls but is totally oblivious to how they work.

Without ruining much more, here’s the good points about this series:

- Voluptuously designed & animated female characters.

- Catchy theme song that you’ll be tapping your toes to the beat whenever you hear it.

- Great story that not only is memorable, but meets satisfying conclusions by the end.

- Steady fanservice.

- You sympathize with the inner conflicts of the characters.

Someone was kind enough to create a Hentai game/video for Cat Planet Cuties called “Cat Attack!” where you can watch Eris suck & fuck.

The only bad thing I can say about the series is that it never went the route of Princess Lover and released hentai OVA’s, someone else did that. I would have enjoyed far more fanservice. Interestingly enough, the fanservice that is there never feels out of place or unjustified. Most of the time the fanservice is blatantly obvious in other shows, but Cat Planet Cuties pulls it off just right.

Cat Planet Cuties is without a doubt something you’ll want to own on Blu-Ray. It’s certainly worth your time & money. I hope the series somehow continues later on down the road - 4.5 Stars.

Brandish New - Review

Brandish New is an OVA to something. Whether it’s an OVA to a manga or film, I don’t know, and frankly I’m too lazy to go find out. Anyway, the film is about a pedophile succubus roaming the medieval countryside terrorizing the various populations.

The film has genuinely subtle humor that you don’t see coming, which makes the funny moments have more impact when you see them. The film also doesn’t take itself too seriously, so the comedy element is always there. Unfortunately, the humor takes away from the films sensuality. Don’t get the wrong idea here, the film is worth a watch, but it’s not worth a rental or full purchase. I kept the review short because I didn’t want to ruin what little this title has going for it. Hopefully we’ll get to see more whenever episode 2 comes out. I give Brandish New a 3-Star rating. I look forward to seeing future episodes.

Futabu Club - Review

Ahhh “dickgirls;” the media manifestation of an entire culture's inner anguish after losing a war against the United States. The “dickgirl” also represents the diminishing role of men in Japanese society and relationships. It really says a lot that in hentai women are mostly overpowered by men or raped (or both), while women are either depicted as being evil or having dicks (or both). Luckily, Futabu Club has none of these serious undertones.

Futabu Club is the story of a lovely young female japanese student named Akane who unsuspectingly joins a club of "female" hermaphrodites who bang one another for fun & merriment. Akane is shocked by discovering what the club actually does. Coincidentally, Akane is also a whore who enjoys pleasing dicks no matter what human body they’re attached to. Throughout the film the club members take turns enjoying Akane’s orifices as well as eachothers. There really isn’t much to this film beyond this.

The animation in Futabu Club is average at best, but the style is good enough to bring sensuality to the characters. The characters themselves are totally uninteresting, and what passes for humor in this title should be followed by a rim-shot after a joke is made. Over-all, Futabu Club just average; and for this, I give it a 2.5 star rating.

Kagaku na Yatsura OVA - Review

Before reviewing Kagaku na Yatsura, I committed a cardinal sin by reading the source material before watching the film. Luckily enough, that didn’t spoil anything as the Kagaku na Yatsura OVA is nothing more than Volumes 5 & 6 of the manga series, animated. Whether the Kagaku na Yatsura OVA can be classified as either a hentai or ecchi is debateable. However since the sexual activity is implied and not shown, no matter how explicit things get, I think it’s an ecchi.

Kagaku na Yatsura has the usual retarded plot of most anime out there: akward school kid is pursued by large breasted women. Unfortunately, Kagaku na Yatsura adds nothing new to this formula and everything that happens is more or less predictable. The humor in Kagaku na Yatsura is about as funny as a knock-knock joke.

So is Kagaku na Yatsura enjoyable? As mastubatory material, yes, you can sucessfully beat yourself purple to it. Is it something worth spending money on to add to your collection? In a word, no. And because of that, Kagaku na Yatsura earns itself 1 out of 5 stars.

Koakuma Kanojo The Animation - Review

Koakuma Kanojo packs a lot of punch in a small amount of time. Watching it reminds me of a chaotic kitchen in a restaurant with dysfunctional waitstaff that you would think would be a total dump to eat at, but would produce excellent food with an enjoyable atmosphere. It’s wonderful chaos at work.

The film is based off of a manga comic. I haven’t read it, so I don’t know how the film compares to the source material. The film contains two different stories surrounding the urban legend of a cursed DVD movie. Just what will happen to you if you watch the movie is never explained. It just so happens that in both stories the DVD turns its female viewers into sexual deviants.

The first story involves a schoolgirl who watched the cursed DVD. The spirit inhabiting the DVD turns her into a succubus. Additionally, she’s gifted (in this case cursed) with a nice, plump, round ass, and and giant milk filled breasts. I’ll just stop here so nothing is ruined and move on. The second story involves two girls...and one grows a dick…do I really need to go any further here on what happens? If you’ve seen lots of hentai, you already know what the deal is.

Koakuma Kanojo packs lots of genuinely funny humor, sexuality, and lots of great moments in a short amount of time. The animation is top-notch, and I highly recommend watching it. I give it 4 Stars only because of how short it is. However, I do feel that if it were any longer, it would ruin the film. Go buy this and add it to your collection.

M ogui Last Order - Review

Rape is a horrific crime. Rapists should be jailed and in some cases, executed. However, if the case involves an attractive woman forcing sex on an unwilling male victim, almost no man will think that there’s anything wrong with that. Welcome to one of the many double standards in life. In fact, some would even find this reverse rape situation a turn on.

In M ogui Last Order, two female gang leaders have dinner at a high-class restaurant, but apparently can’t afford to pay the bill. The ladies lack of buying power is openly made fun of by three of the restaurant's patrons. The ladies are even threatened with violence of they don’t pay their bill. Enraged, offended, and humiliated, the women decide to put the three aggressors in their place. The women take one of the assailants and rapes him in front of his girlfriend and best friend. Then, they make the best friend rape the girlfriend in front of the boyfriend. The women assert and establish their dominance in this situation. They manipulate the three aggressors into doing their every will.

I don’t have any rape fantasies, but I found this title to be a huge turn on. I really enjoyed this title and I highly recommend it. I really hope the creators of this title take it further and make more episodes. The two main characters are fun, beautiful, and interesting. Not to mention well done animation. I give this title a full 5 stars.

Mou Hasamazu ni wa Irarenai - Review

Mou Hasamazu ni wa Irarenai is the story of a physically undesirable, socially awkward girl who gets abducted by aliens. The alien gives her enhanced breasts and increased sensitivity to touch. I’ve barely begun the review and already this is sounding like the horrible plot to a late-night softcore porno you’d find on cable television.

Upon returning to her home, Amano begins her day with her new physical assets. Because her body was rebuilt by aliens, she can run better, jump better, think better, and do a lot more things that she couldn’t before. In exchange for giving Amano a new lease on life, the alien who keeps a leash on her, uses her body to learn about human reproduction. Noticing that Amano likes a certain boy in her school, the alien gets them together in a bathroom and has them perform intercourse. Then the film ends….that’s it, credits roll.

I know this isn’t much of a review, but clearly there wasn’t much to review in the first place. The film knows what it wanted to be and did it well. If I did have to gripe about something it’s that the cover art for the film didn’t reflect the quality of animation that was actually in the film. However, I know such things aren’t always the case anyway. Mou Hasamazu ni wa Irarenai was indeed enjoyable for me. based on the beginning, I didn’t expect much, nor did the film deliver much. The movie is worth your time, just not your money, so rent it if you can. I give this title 3 stars.

Paizuri Cheerleader vs. Sakunyuu Ouendan! - Preview

Alright, first of all, I don’t know how to speak, read, or write Japanese. So with that said, I had no idea what the hell was going on while I was watching this. Additionally, since I had no idea what was going on, I can’t give this title a full review; that will come at a later time when english subtitles are available, so instead, I’ll give you a preview.

Paizuri Cheerleader VS Sakunyuu Ouendan! is based of a game, and from what I gather from watching the film, the overused [and rather boring] formula of “socially awkward male pursued by numerous large-breasted women” is at work here...yet again. Over the course of the film, the women all take turns titty-fucking and sucking his dick. It’s only at the end that one of the women gives him some pussy, which makes me wonder who the hell is getting all these women pregnant, cause they’re all lactating. At the end, I assume that there’s a conspiracy going on to tarnish the reputation of the head cheerleader, because some chick takes a picture of her covered in the male lead’s “lobster sauce.”

Anyway, the animation is borderline poor, the sex-scenes are boring, and the character design is pretty lazy as not much effort went into coloring them. The version I got was the Japanese version, which if you don’t know, their pornography is censored by law or something; so if you choose to watch this title, don’t complain about it being censored...because I already told you that it was.

Go ahead and watch it if you want, but I say don’t waste your time. Maybe when this title is available in english, my opinion of it will change, but I doubt it.

Pisu Hame! (Episode 1) - Review

Pisu Hame! is a six episode series based off of a manga comic. The story is the repeated cliche of a socially awkward school boy thrust into sexual escapades ultimately without rhyme or reason. So what makes this film special? Is there even anything to begin with? In a word, yes. However, there’s a bit of searching to do.

As previously mentioned, the story follows a school boy (named Tamao) thrust into a situation of sexual escapades. How did this happen? Well, he was approached by a girl he has a crush on at school to help her with a project. The project has to do with gaining content for the school's yearbook, and apparently, the school is infamous of a notorious section in the yearbook showcasing the students sexual conquests. It’s the equivalent to what school girls do nowadays on Facebook, Snapchat, and other brain-rotting online outlets. Tamao’s job is to be the photographer and capture the tender, memorable moments, of his female classmates chucking cock.

So back to my original questions: what makes Pisu Hame! special? I’d say one factor is the animation. It’s on par with Kill la Kill, but absolutely no effort was done in actually animating anything. Based on what I’ve seen, all the animation was clearly done in Adobe Flash. Additionally, the title was animated verbatim from the manga comic, which to me is impressive. But let me get to the nitty-gritty here: this title is *very* sexually arousing. I can’t put my finger on it, but whatever “it” is, that’s what makes this title special.

If you can manage to get your hands on this title or even the manga comic, I say it’s worth both your time and money. Pisu Hame! gets a well deserved four star rating. Go watch and enjoy it!

Pretty Pridot - Review

Pretty Pridot is a short film about an up & coming adult film star who’s shooting a blowjob and tit-fuck scene in a hotel room; not necessarily because she’s under contract to do so, but because that’s just the scenes she’s currently willing to do at this stage in her career. Just like in live-action porn, you’ll have some female pornstars who will only do girl-on-girl scenes because they may either be married, or maybe that’s just what they’re into.

Because of the fluidity and attention to detail of the animation, plus the voice acting, makes for highly enjoyable scenes. However, the same elements that made those scenes beautiful, will make the later scenes ugly when the plot makes an unexpected turn down group BDSM road.

Now I understand that people “get off” on different things, but for me, BDSM isn’t one of them. I get no pleasure from watching acts of violence forced onto someone in a sexual situation. But unfortunately for some, they enjoy twisted shit like this. How someone could watch another in tears and agony and get-off to it is beyond me, but I digress.

After all is said and done, Pretty Pridot is a well done animation, that for me, is enjoyable up to a point. The animation in Pretty Pridot is done in the style of a 16-bit video game cutscene. The voice acting is probably some of the best you’ll ever hear done, especially when the actress stops talking mid-sentence because her lips get interrupted by a fleshy phallic object. Overall, I give it a 2.5 rating out of a full 5.

Sei Yariman Gakuen Enkou Nikki - Review

Sei Yariman Gakuen Enkou Nikki is a personal favorite of mine. It deals with themes that many men identify with. I know this because just like the lead character in the film, I found myself in a similar situation. Besides being entertaining, this film also teaches you a few indirect life lessons. That’s something very rare in the world of hentai.

Sei Yariman Gakuen: Enkou Nikki, translated means Holy Yariman Academy: Compensated Dating Diaries. The film is about a man referred to as “Mister” who just got divorced after thirty years of marriage, and tries to figure out what to do next relationship wise. If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship with someone who you really loved, you’ll know that after separating, a part of you still remains loyal to the person. Everyone will encourage you to move on, but in your heart and mind, you’re still in a relationship with that person. In the beginning, such behavior is understandable, but eventually, such behavior is unreasonable and unhealthy, leading you to be faced with the question of, “I'm I ready to date again?” Fortunately, “Mister” never got the chance to have this dilemma as he meets up with Miho on his way home from work.

Despite the fact that Miho disclosed her working-girl status to “Mister,” the two have a little chat, and “Mister” opens up to Miho about his recent divorce, as well as the circumstances which brought it about. Miho indirectly propositions “Mister” by reminding him of the old adage that the best way to forget someone old is with someone new, and she suggests that the two of them have an encounter at the local love-shack. “Mister” reluctantly agrees after dwelling on his cheating wife trapping him in a sexless thirty year marriage. Ultimately, within twenty-four hours Miho shows “Mister” that he wasn’t some washed up old man, but a confident and sexually desirable stallion who is more than capable of handling business in the bedroom.

Armed with a new-found confidence, “Mister” spends the next twelve months making up for thirty years of a sexless marriage by spending his ample disposable income on prostitutes. In a real situation, I could only imagine how sexually incompetent his ex-wife made him feel in order to drive him to do such a thing. Interestingly enough, he still wears his wedding-ring though it all. Later, he meets Reiko and the two become steady sex partners eventually entering the swinger community. After reaching alpha-male status again in his own mind, “Mister” has become confident in himself, capable at being a leader on his job, and most importantly of all, he didn’t allow his failed marriage to make him bitter.

Besides that, the animation in this title is top-notch and on-par with Bible Black. Breasts flop, asses jiggle, and shockwaves of motion travel through the body as Miho gets pounded from behind. I highly recommend this title despite some of the cheesy dialog. I give Sei Yariman Gakuen Enkou Nikki a solid 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Sexy Sailor Soldiers - Review

If you’ve ever seen Angel Blade, then Sexy Sailor Soldiers is basically just a downgrade from that. The film is about a woman who, like Green Lantern, takes some jewelry from a dying stranger and becomes a superhero.

Long story short, after working her shift as a server in a restaurant, Nami (the female lead) finds a dying women who gives her a brooch as she’s dying. This brooch causes Nami to be inexplicably pursued by perverts on her way home. Eventually, these perverts expose themselves as demons, and though the power of the brooch, Nami transforms into...something that was never explained really, and flies away to her house. Fast forward to later, and she’s held hostage by a demon who reveals to her that she’s a demon hunter, and the brooch that she wears attracts demons to her. Specifically, demons enjoy feasting on a huntresses vaginal secretions as their meal of choice. Moments later Nami is rescued by a league of other large breasted demon hunters like herself and reveal to her that her job will never be done...then the film ends.

Sexy Sailor Soldiers is not great, but it’s a bit of fun for what it is. It’s worth a watch, maybe not a purchase if you want to nit-pick about the animation and lackluster storyline. Definately a 3-Star title.

Shoujo Senki Soul Eater - Preview

Everything about Shoujo Senki Soul Eater is just aweful. The storyline is just tossed in there, the animation is piss-poor, and the sex scenes are terrible. I doubt even the furry crowd will be into the anthropomorphic tiger having his way with the badly designed lead female.

Avoid this title at all cost. It's not worth your time or money; it's garbage.

Tayu Tayu (Animated Series) - Preview

Tayu Tayu does everything right. The character design, the animation, the story, and the characters themselves have personality. Tayu Tayu is a shining example of why people love watching hentai, and it takes its place beside Bible Black as one of the great hentai films of all time.

This title is definately worth the purchase and your time. Watching Tayu Tayu will surely cause you to fap yourself to the point of heart failure if you're not careful.

Viper GTS - Review

Viper GTS is originally based off of a game. What the GTS part stands for, I have no clue, nor am I really interested in knowing. The gist of the story is that heaven controls hell and they are looking to keep things that way...that is until a succubus upsets that one-sided balance of power and causes a war between the two realms. The animation is consistently well done and never tapers off at any point. While the setting for the story is all doom & gloom, the film never takes itself too seriously and uses humor to separate the tones in different scenes. The sex scenes are incredibly sexy and sensual, the voice acting is well done, and you’ll want to watch it again & again. The DVD includes easter-eggs in the menus if you buy a copy.

I could go on & on singing the praises of this title, but I don’t want to ruin anything for you, so I won’t by ending the review here. Viper GTS is a personal favorite of mine and a real gem that is often overlooked when lined up along side the greatest titles in hentai like la Blue Girl, Bible Black, and so on. The film has all the right elements dished-out evenly throughout to make it a must own title worth both your time and money; and because of that, Viper GTS earns itself a well deserved 5 stars.

Warau Kangofu: The Animation (Episode 1) - Review

I think I speak for most heterosexual men when I say that there was at least one adult in our lives as pre-teens that we wanted to have sex with, especially if they were a teacher. I know I had more than a few female teachers on my “to do list.” Unfortunately, during the time I went to school, I was never fortunate enough then to be taken advantage of by the hot female teachers getting themselves thrown into jail today. Me talking about wanting to be molested by one of my hot female teachers as a pre-teen isn’t a big deal to most men because the subject is within the safety of a social double standard. It’s okay for [attractive] females to indulge in pedophilia, but not men (not that I condone pedophila of any sort), and Warau Kangofu explores this.

Warau Kangofu is the story of a well developed female nurse named Onee who’s a sexual predator in addition to being a pedophile. Yes, the two terms are different; look it up in a dictionary. Anyway, Onee preys on her young male victims who are patients at the hospital in which she works. She not only enjoys dominating them sexually, but also humiliates them as well in addition to raping them; making one of them put on her panties and stocking while he’s immobilized in his bed for some unexplained reason. In one scene, the same “kid” (his age was never disclosed) is forced to have sex with Onee in front of his girlfriend. Onee then holds the kids girlfriend hostage and makes the kid and his girlfriend have sex against their wishes. Later on, three grown men who are patients at the hospital discover what Nurse Onee has been up to and plan to catch her in the act. They get their chance when they barge in during the forced sexual encounter to the two unwilling parties, free the kid’s girlfriend, and decide to make Nurse Onee pay for what she’s done by giving her a taste of her own medicine by gang raping her. Later, because the three men somehow feel that they’re committing a crime in the name of justice, they decide to extend that same justice to the victim, and the kid makes her feel the same helplessness and pain he did (two wrongs don’t make a right folks). In the end, Nurse Onee makes amends for what she’s done to the kid, and episode one ends.

It’s almost sad to say, but because one of the victims got justice in the end, I can’t necessarily say that any of the subject matter was traumatic or disturbing. If anything, my inner pre-teen wishes I were in some of the situations depicted. In the end, Warau Kangofu is well animated and deals with a controversial subject in a raw manner that may make some people very uncomfortable. My inner pre-teen gives Warau Kangofu 4 out of 5 stars.

Yamada's First Time - Review

It's unfortunate that Yamada’s First Time contains nudity, because youngsters in their early teens could really learn a great deal from the show. Especially when they’re at an age where they’re becoming sexually active and their parents shy away from answering their questions, leaving them to figure out things on their own. The show establishes something very essential early on that most people don’t figure out till they're older: women are crazy and men are totally clueless as to how to make them happy. Many youngsters can be spared a lot of heartache and pain by watching this. Oh how I wish this was around for me to watch when I was a teenager.

Frankly speaking, Yamada’s First Time is the story about a fifteen year old girls journey to become a whore. Not only does this fact alone set the pedophila alarm bells ringing at the very notion of wanting to watch this, but exploring the other side of this double standard might make people feel even more uneasy. Society likes to pretend that women don’t have sexual thoughts, desires, and drives. Gladly this show does a great job at shattering that perception, because no matter what third-wave feminism may misinform you about, it shows the reality that men and women aren’t that different.

Like most straight men, Yamada has a personal goal of sleeping with one-hundred partners. The only problem is, she’s a virgin who has never had a boyfriend, so she knows nothing about sex or relationships. Basically, she’s on a boat and she set sail for a distant land that she has no idea how to get to. She meets a young man by the name of Kosuda who likes her, but has no clue as to how to win her affections. Yamada puts poor Kosuda though all types of grueling mental anguish and emotional distress. She does everything to express to him that she’s not interested in his advances, yet when he stops trying to pursue her, she then gets frustrated and wonders why. “Dat feels bro, dat feels,” I know. I can only imagine the terrible flashbacks the guys reading this review are having of their youth right now. Long story short, Yamada and Kosuda go through much trial & error that eventually lead up to them being intimate with one another. However, much like everyone’s first time, it’s clumsy and awkward, and they then have to figure that out as well.

Yamada’s First Time is a very candid and sincere with its subject matter and humor. I highly recommend taking a trip down memory lane and watching it. I give it 4.5 out of 5 stars.